A Wife Writes Tease and Denial

I have been requested to give my perspective of this tease & denial "stuff". Up until I met my husband, I was definitely naive to any "lifestyle" other than vanilla sex. I am married to a wonderful intelligent man who has opened up my eyes and experiences, for the better in my estimation. Way back when (before the internet) he started talking about tantaric sex, and now with the advent of the internet, there was all sorts of things to read about. At his request and explanation, I did understand the stroking him to the point of ejaculating, then stopping. Then doing it again, and stopping---I could see how it affected him and he seemed to really enjoy it and the ejaculation when I finally let it happen was enormous. It is fun to get it hard under my touch again & again...why rush it? But with my life experiences, I never would have done it on my own.

But it took some effort on his part to explain & get me to understand that it really is OKAY. My life experiences, as I am sure many women have experienced, is that if you touch a guy's cock, you better be prepared to finish the job right then & there. There was no playing with his balls just because I like the feel of it. Guys in my past were just pushy about it--you touch & he has to come. (key word, HE has to come) They had NO PATIENCE. The guy wanted to come & he wanted it NOW. And they acted like women were the same way. Stick a dick in her & she'll swoon with ecstasy. What morons.

And how many women have heard the perpetual WHINING how he HAS to have sex NOW or his balls will turn blue & he'll die thanks to HER? So, why bother to get started at all if that's what we're faced with? And if we even acted like we wanted to just kiss, that meant to him she wants to get laid, and if we deny him, we are mean. THAT is what I thought tease & denial meant . I believe the guys called that being a Dick Tease...and it was not meant as a compliment.

When Hubby talked about tease & denial, I thought he wanted me to be mean, and I like him too much to be mean to him. Intellectually I get it now after much discussion , explanation & good experiences...but all that old baggage is still there. It has been a difficult thing to overcome....But I really like having the freedom to do what I want. I like playing with his balls and he likes the attention. If I am tired, I am under no stress or obligation to do much of anything--just a little attention to him by touching & playing is just fine with him. He never knows just what I'll do...that's the way he likes it & it has become kinda fun for me as well. I understand the way we play is not mean, just sexual enhancement for him.

Mrs bdenied